Archive for the ‘Government’ Category

Ek Kolaveri, jo zindagi badal de..

November 24, 2011 1 comment

Mr Singh,

We¬†salute your spirit and your valour… Well done !

You have made the nation proud

You have assaulted the shrewdest of shrewd

You have slapped the epitome of corruption

You have attacked “the cancer” in the national administration

It was a bit mild, we would have preferred something more…

But keep it up, you inspire us; ignite our souls; motivate us to get rid of such systemic garbage

Kudos to you; May there be many more like you!

Inquililab Jindabad,



The little bitches are in town…

November 12, 2011 4 comments

8th of November, 2011. A historic day in our life. A day of achievement, fullfilment and a vitamin-C supplement.

It all started with a ring on the doorbell. As the ring grew louder, it pulled us out of our slumber. It was 12 in the afternoon. The three of us roomies had planned to do something concrete that day and were on a synchronised sick leave. November-december is “sick leave planning” time (just as february-march is “tax planning” time).

The bell continued to haunt us. We normally ignore door bells during the 9:00 to 18:00 frame if we happen to be around. And we ignored this one as well, to our own peril.

Within seconds, our fans slowed down; the radio – our electronic lullaby – playing in the background went mute; and we, sick.

With bad breath as our companion, we rushed down in search of the MSEB dude who was courteous enough to have attempted to warn us of the impending disaster. But we were late – the electric trip switch to our apartment was already pulled down and the enclosure locked. Could it be that Neo (“the One” from “The Matrix”) was newly recruited in MSEB? We were not too sure!

We roamed around the society looking for Neo as well as other possible offenders, but were shocked to find both missing. What bothered us more was that we were still 30 bucks short of the cut-out limit of 1200 rupees.

Thanks Mr. Murphie – When things have to go wrong, they will.

But we are software engineers – mostly reactive, rarely proactive. We jumped into fire fighting mode:

  • A (that’s me) – went online to pay the dues
  • B and C collected the online receipt printout from D (who was luckily not sick that day).

They managed to pay the rest of the dues (for oiling the machinery) and within 2 hours of the payment, we were back in the grid. By the way, the “rest of the dues” were collected in an official/legal manner. None of the workers in the local office were ready to help us out for a quick buck. We are proud of you Anna; I was extremely happy to witness this positive development in our system – things are definitely improving (no sarcasm here).

And no, we were definitely not ashamed for trying to bribe. You know, we were simply testing the system.

I wonder why I wonder how
That it seems that the power’s getting stronger everyday
I feel a strength, an inner fire
But I’m scared I won’t be able to control it anymore

And then, to make the rest of the day productive, we decided it was time to take action. Action against our slender,delicate roommates who were accused of sharing rental space, but not paying the dues. Of sharing our food as if it was some Shahi Langar. Of troubling us in the morning and eating up our valuable washing/cleaning time. They were members of the opposite sex who had invaded our space in the month of March and have been with us since then (don’t start salivating now).

We felt a little sad as they were the weak ones. They were our little bitches. We had planned for some fatalities as well in case things did’nt go as planned. Fortunately for us, they were also members of the other species – the bloody roaches (gotcha!!).

The combing operation had begun. With a can of LAAL Hit and a lethal WMD (my expired credit card), we set out on a rampage. There were heavy casualties on the opposite side. We continued feverishly, but they outnumbered us heavily!

There’s a time to live and a time to die,
When it’s time to meet the Maker,
There’s a time to live, but isn’t it strange
That as soon as you’re born you’re dying!!

The next day claimed its first casualty on our end (I was down with fever). Finally, both parties called for a truce and a cease fire was ordered. The bitches continue to live on, but have been restricted to within the newly drawn LOC – our Prestige FLITE induction cooker (some of them still survive and replicate inside this warm, cosy enclosure).

All is well.

Satyameva Jayate!

PS: Embedded lyrics – “The Clairvoyant” (Iron Maiden)